Sunday, January 31, 2016

The Bears have a new home...

Allison was gifted with all of these bears right before she passed away. A wish had been planned for her to go to Build A Bear for a shopping spree. The week before we were sure it was going to happen, the day of, she was in and out of consciousness. After, we had her best friends pick out a favorite to keep, and the rest were put away. I've been putting off doing anything with them, I think my fellow bereaved parents will understand. So yesterday, I went and stacked them into my loaner car (couldn't use the "my car's too small excuse") and today T and I delivered them to our wonderful hospice company, and they will be given to other children in hospice/palliative care. I think she would be happy. ‪#‎lettinggoishard‬

Sunday, January 24, 2016

“It is such a secret place, the land of tears.”
– Antoine de Saint-ExupĂ©ry

Monday, November 30, 2015

Sweet Sixteen

16 years ago, at 6:04am I saw her first.  The most beautiful baby girl with the fullest head of blond hair that the nurses had ever seen.  She made me a mom and she changed me forever.  I see her in the butterflies in the fall, I hear her in the songs on the radio - a favorite song of hers will come on and Travis will say "Sissy song!".  Happy Sweet Sixteen to my beautiful Sissypooh

Friday, September 11, 2015


Four years.  Whoever said that time heals all wounds knew nothing about this type of loss.  Most days are ok, but days like today, it all comes back.  I wonder who you would be today, almost 16, probably taller than me, definitely smarter than me. I heard you in a dream two nights ago.  You were in another room talking and I could not go to you, but I could hear you so clearly.  I rarely dream and never about you, so I can only wonder, were you reaching out to me?  The 11 years I had with you were not enough, and these 4 without you have been too many.  tu me manques , my beautiful girl.